How to improve your self-esteem: scientifically endorsed keys

Who would you say is your worst enemy?

In 2014, Professor Hal Hershfield, a renowned psychologist from the University of Ucla, asked this question to a thousand people. Half of them agreed on the answer: “myself”.

If you also believe that our own fears and prejudices are the biggest obstacle in our lives, read on. Because by the end of this article you will have learned how to defeat them all.

Without self-esteem, our fears lock us into the comfort zone, punish us and prevent us from fighting for what we really want. The media and social networks do not help either, placing us in constant comparisons with others. As a result, self-help has become a business that moves millions of dollars a year.

But every business ends up corrupting itself. That’s why there’s so much unsubstantiated information and empty advice that doesn’t bring anything new like stop punishing yourself or think positive. The result is that, despite putting them into practice, we still feel as bad as before.

Yet there is hope. Some methods created by great researchers have proved capable of improving our self-esteem. They are not magic formulas, but these strategies have helped thousands of people live better and they can do the same for you. In this guide you will discover them all, but first, let’s lay the groundwork.

What is self-esteem?
The definition of self-esteem is the way we judge and evaluate ourselves. In other words, self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves.

It consists of the whole set of beliefs, valuations and thoughts that we have about ourselves, and that we have been creating from our experiences. In addition, self-esteem has several psychological functions, although sometimes it provokes just the opposite:

Satisfy your need to feel good about yourself

Reduce the impact of the rejections you suffer in your life

Protect yourself from fear and uncertainty

Motivate you to fight for your goals

We could all be smarter, prettier and richer, but it’s been shown that self-esteem doesn’t depend on what you have, what you know or what you are. It depends on how you accept yourself.

Motivate you to fight for your goals
We could all be smarter, prettier and richer, but it’s been shown that self-esteem doesn’t depend on what you have, what you know or what you are. It depends on how you accept yourself.

Although relatively recently people with high self-esteem were associated with narcissism, scientific evidence denies it. Having a solid self-esteem does not mean being arrogant, but being able to accept our strengths and weaknesses in order to recognize our own worth.

Neither is born with low or high self-esteem: it evolves as we live new experiences. The events that have the greatest influence are usually those that marked our childhood, such as the way in which our parents, teachers or friends treated us. That’s why certain situations can have a profound impact on your self-esteem:

  • If they ignored your ideas instead of listening to them
  • If you were physically or psychologically abused instead of being respected
  • If you received indifference, and not affection.
  • If they demanded even more of you instead of acknowledging your effort.
  • If you were blamed for your failures instead of accepting them.
  • During our childhood we received a multitude of opinions about ourselves, both positive and negative. But for a reason you’ll discover in this article, the bad ones are the ones that prevail over all.

Low Self-Esteem: How Does It Affect You?
It’s like a prophecy: if you don’t feel valuable, sooner or later you’ll end up behaving the same way. Low self-esteem can change people’s behavior to confirm their suspicions about their own worth, creating a vicious circle from which it is very difficult to escape.

Low self-esteem

Not being comfortable being who you are or not trusting your abilities has terrible consequences. You will probably stop attending social gatherings, trying new things, and facing challenges that would make your life richer. You will know that you suffer from low self-esteem if the following happens to you:

  • You feel inferior to others
  • You dismount easily and don’t finish what you start.
  • You avoid any situation where you might fail.
  • You keep blaming yourself for your past mistakes.
  • You don’t think there’s anything special about you.
  • You don’t feel attractive
  • Avoid relating to others
  • You don’t express your ideas or opinions
  • You usually feel anxiety and a deep sadness.
  • You’re a perfectionist and you don’t value what you get.
  • You have a hard time making decisions.
  • Jealousy eats away at you when others get something.

you will find a multitude of books, articles, videos and courses on how to improve your self-esteem. Unfortunately most of them are based on ideas that have not shown any real effectiveness. What’s more, some are even harmful to your self-esteem!

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